What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 03:32
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
So, i spoilt her more .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Bitcoin: Despite 10% retail dip, whales could lead BTC to $111K – How? - AMBCrypto
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And i lived it daily.
India's central bank beats market expectations to deliver an outsized rate cut of 50 points - CNBC
My family never makes their pension either.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I have no regrets .
Texas, Oklahoma and Nevada make changes to lure business amid Delaware’s ‘Dexit’ concern - AP News
She wouldn,t have been !
Was to survive, this bastard.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
How Can I get a taxi company to outsource their Dispatch services to me?
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He knew the spot.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Why do narcissist move on so easily?
As i do to all so called friends.?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
WHO Eyes Emerging COVID-19 Variant - Medscape
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Im still living with it.
What happens when you have paranoid schizophrenia?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Can a 40-year-old date a 20-year-old?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Who then, do I blame.?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
'Lilo & Stitch' and 'Hawaii Five-O' actor David Hekili Kenui Bell dies at 57 - Entertainment Weekly
She married twice! .
But ive been too sick for many years..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
American Airlines plane diverted because it was too big to land at airport - WKRC
Comes on , in middle age.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I was 9 years of age.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
What firsthand information do you have on prisoner-on-prisoner sexual abuse/rape?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Scoop: Every Senate Dem demands Trump withdraw military from Los Angeles - Axios
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
So whats the point in blame.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I don,t even have a pension.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I said to her
It was going to be , some day.
She loved him until the end.
What did i know ?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
My life is so biszare .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
But it wasn’t much.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I was seconnd youngest,
Put me off passion for life!!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
One cannot live in the past .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
When she asked me how she looked .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I was very sick at this time too.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I could never make a relationship work though!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I write beautiful poetry .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
We all went to grammer schools
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Ive learnt so much.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I waited trembling.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But, we were locked up after school.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I never cut or harmed myself..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
This is soul school!.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I will be 64.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She was in good health!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
All the time i was locked up.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I was scared of men, in general
Would this be the day?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
We were not on the streets..
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She found it foreign!.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t